About Lily & White And Me

Most People Just Call Me Tel

Pointless Stuff About Me

A 40 something guy, who spends most of his working day, shooting people & the rest of his time scaring the living daylights out of his wife for kicks, knows how to drink beer, does it even better in Germany, looks forward to winter, cause that's how we Starks roll, is obsessed with a bloke who does stuff on two wheels, isn't too sure whether his family love his company, follows a football team that doesn't win anything, prefers going to a country where he doesn't know the language, drinks some weird concoction of alcohol, wears trainers that his teenage Son would look at home in, has blinding taste in music, though his singing won't be troubling the Grammys anytime soon… Just a standard guy I'd say 🤔.

Oh whilst we're speaking truths here, when I was like 10 or 11, me & my mate managed to bridge a long metal cable over a railway electrical line, we were, lets say studying the effects of 25000 volts for reasons I've yet to figure out, needless to say we learnt that lesson well. This serves no purpose other to say 'kids don't try this at home'. Oh and I'm sorry for anyone travelling on the outbound train from Liverpool St at approx. 7.30pm in the month of August, 1983/1984 for any delays, this one wasn't down to British Rail. So a word of warning that if you're thinking of booking me for your wedding Just keep the above in mind if you're having any pyrotechnics, then keep me well back!

An electrifying tale